I’ve been sick for a week and I’m laying in bed with too much time on my hands to think, having something like a panic attic, and I walked myself through calming down. I pressed on muscles that were spasming, and did breathing exercises. I feel like I can’t breath. I called my Mom, and talked to my husband…not working.
I have been so damn stressed out from our constant renovations and the resentment that happens when you come to blows with contractor/trades and non-stop confrontation (inevitable when renovating) that I’ve been in survival mode I think for many years. I know that is relative, so many years for me is 6.5 years. We just sold our current home and, finally, this chapter of our lives is coming to an end. (I will write more about where we’re going soon…I’m really excited about this one.) I’m lying here looking back on the roller coaster that was this past 2.5 years (some of the most trying times and some of the most exciting) and taking stock.
The best thing to come out of this home and renovation has been starting this blog, and the one thing that has helped with this stress has come out of sharing the story of our renovations. As I lay here freaking out about whether the stress our family has gone through will be forgiven of me, mostly will I forgive myself for causing it, yet again; I’m overcome with how this blog has saved me. It’s made the good outweigh the bad every time. It’s brought me back from the dark side of giving up, and its made the struggles that came with the renovations and stresses of selling our current home all worth it.
In fact, it lead to some pretty proud family moments like this:
And to some potential life changing moments like this: (I know I need to ummm write a post about this one…and I will!)
I love to do a lot, and I always have. Like you wouldn’t know this because I’m so OCD about decor and that takes up a lot of my posts, but I have 4 degrees, including an MA in English Literature. Clearly, my blog posts don’t sound like that at all….but here’s the thing. I know how to speak eloquently and it doesn’t bring me joy, but writing exactly the way my brain thinks does and this is a Blog, so I can do that right? Like it’s my own thoughts, and ideas, and there is no editor. That’s fucking awesome. That’s SO FUCKING AWESOME!!!!
You can say what you want, that is of course, as long as its authentic. (I struggled quite a bit just now with swearing in the post. Hmmm….I swear though. This is kind of a grey area. I’m a good person, and a caring mother, and I swear sometimes. Well I swore. But it really summed up how I feel about expressing myself! It’s out there now. I can’t very well take it back can I? That wouldn’t be very authentic.
Be Authentic. (You Can Write What You Really Feel….You Can.)
I know what you’re thinking though. Like, “no you can’t”. The whole world can read it. But here is the secret to what I’ve found. Your words FIND like minded people, magically. Maybe someone is searching in their browser right now, “I want to do something, SO FUCKING AWESOME!”. Then they are going to come to my page and it’s going to say, “I have an idea, you should start a blog!” And if this person is in my frame of mind, because that’s what they were kind of meaning, then they will read the post. If not, they will say, “nope.” click one second later, and be more specific and add the words travel somewhere in front of the original search….guess what? that HUMAN is probably going to come to a blog! (And like fully connect with the person because it feels like they are speaking to them). Because, right now…right now as I type, I am speaking to someone. I’m speaking to you!
Hey, I’m Talking to You! And I’m So Thankful For You!
You amazing people that leave me comments bring me affirmation. You bring me joy. You let me know that what I’m doing matters. You are an outlet when stress gets so high that it leads to panic and writing is the only calm. AND you can’t always get that from your spouse, your Mom, or your best friend. I have the most amazing Mom and Spouse, and friends, and I can’t share my passions and fears and worries with them alone because they aren’t into the same things as me, and for some reason, it’s easier to share it with the WHOLE world than people close to me. But I’m not alone, because look at how many blogs there are out there.
Just Because You’re My Husband, Doesn’t Mean You Want to Hear About Decorating. #Real Talk
People aren’t getting satisfaction from sharing their amazing ideas and quirkiest thoughts with those closest to them, because they aren’t into their amazing and quirky ideas on the same level. For example, my husband is obsessed with cars and is always watching car youtubers oh and this show with 3 British Guys that test drive cars! He watches it non-stop, and I don’t even know the name of it, and it’s like the most popular show on T.V. ….that’s what a great listener to his passion I am! Goes right over my head. It’s not my fault, I’m not a bad wife, I just have no interest in cars. Ummm so like I said, people aren’t getting satisfaction from sharing their passions with those closest to them.
When you blog, you meet like minded people who let you talk about your shit to no end! For example, kitchen hardware choices for the hundredth time, because they are like, “ya no, I get it, picking out cabinet hardware is such a hard decision!” / or they tell you what to choose from an informed point of view and you’re so thankful! Passions, fears, ideas, funny thoughts, sad thoughts, really dark thoughts, need to be shared .We learned that when we were young right? “You can’t keep things bottled up inside, it’ll make things worse”.
How do You Have Time to Renovate and Blog?
There is a lot more to me than renovations and trying to have a “perfect” house. I’m sorry, if I gave you the impression that I was so shallow. (That’s lame on my part.) K sidebar…I used the word perfect to shame myself not brag…my house and life are pure CHAOS, as all of ours are. The answer is that it’s my passion, so I make time for it. Everyone makes time for what they want right? Like I can’t find time to workout, but I sure as hell find time to stage my shelves. I have a friend who works out two hours a day and eats a special diet that never waivers and it’s because she is passionate about body building. People say they have no time but like you have some time right?…you just don’t have time for not-your-interest.
Some people freaking love movies. Blog. Some people are foodies. Blog. Some people love stamps. Blog. Tell someone. Legitimize it for yourself. In the past I’ve come down hard on people for their hobbies that take over their life, and as I type, I’m like it’s NOT A HOBBY!! DAMNIT! You IDIOT! You know this more than anyone!!! The thing you love can’t be suppressed. I’ll die without renovating and interior design. I will. That’s how I make it through an entire full time job and make time for it when I get home, even though I have kids. It’s because I can’t not do it. It’s also an escape. When I’m not liking what I’m doing my mind goes there. It’s so deeply ingrained that it’s all I think about. BLOG.
I actually just ranted this out in the middle of my panic. Had to. I had all these thoughts swarming my head, and thank the lord that I have this blog, or who could I have told?
How To Start A Blog a.k.a. Is There Like A Blogging Bible that I Could Read? I Need Steps! I’m a Steps Person!
Yes there is and the person who helped me, wrote the book on starting blogs, and here’s the link
I Can’t Start a Blog, I Don’t Know How to Use Technology!
Ok one last thing. If you’re thinking: I can’t start a blog I don’t know how to use technology!! That is ok. You get someone to make it for you. That’s what I did. The author of this book, Your Marketing BFF, created my blog for me. It’s not expensive and she walked me you through every step, and if you read the book and you need help with the next step of actually making the blog (like a professional/gorgeous looking blog), I strongly suggest hiring her to do your blog, if that is your sticking point. Let me put it really plain and simple:
You like food…..YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW HOW TO BUILD A BLOG.
You love fashion but suck at computers…. YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW HOW TO BUILD A BLOG.
You take your car to the mechanic right? You go to the Dentist and let the Dentist take care of your cavity? You go to school to learn your job. Well, the person who builds your blog went to school for it, so its OK to let them do their job. I wrote an entire blog post about how TWICE I didn’t let the person do their job and how it impacted me and resulted in me not sharing my passion for years. Read it because it will help, and if you’re not tech saavy with blogs…because you don’t have one, so how the hell would you be then read my post on the subject because I totally was you for a long time ok!
Back It Up! I’m Also Scared to Share My Passion!
So the how to start is simple…read the steps in the book by Your Marketing BFF, and then if you’d like the physical site made for you and taught to you, then you can also hire its author, like I did!
Ok, What if you need help because you can’t understand how you’ll make yourself find the cojones to share your passion in the first place??!!!! I’ve got you covered. Read this…it’s my best tactical advice for MAKING yourself get over your fears and share your passion. It’s also my most connected with post (meaning most resonating comments and dialogue), so I hope it helps you!
You know what else, there is an awesome video that will help you visual learners get movtivated! If you’ve read my other posts, then you’ll know that I’m SO motivated by Gary Vee and watch everything he puts out. For good reason too. Check this out, on a last note! Prepare to get pumped up!!